Monday, September 13, 2010

RELATIONSHIPS - a reason, a season, a lifetime

You probably remember a blog I posted about 3 men who I liked and had to pick from.  Well, I didn't choose Harold - the man who drove too slow and didn't like loud music or TV.  That left Charles and Johnny.  I chose Charles - tall, dark and handsome with a body like Adonis.  However, I continue to have strong feelings for Johnny, as he and I have had the longest relationship - more than 14 years.  It truly was a touch choice to make.

Something has been bothering me, though.  I have not been entirely truthful with either man, and I feel like a coward for not being so.  I haven't told Johnny that I like and have been dating Charles.  This falsehood has led Johnny to believe that I want to be his woman.  For the past month and a half I have been sneaking around like some scared schoolgirl with Charles behind Johnny's back.  Charles and I have even been "caught" grocery and jewelry shopping.  Now, Johnny doesn't know about Charles, but Charles knows about Johnny.  Charles has been demanding that I tell Johnny about us, but I haven't been able to - until the other night, that is.  When Johnny busted me and Charles going into the supermarket.  I have fought so hard, expended so much energy, avoided all the places Johnny would be.  And for what?  To have it all come to a screetching halt in front of STOP & SHOP!!!  At 9:00 at night!  A time when Johnny should have had his fucking 61 years-old ass at home?  I was mortified.  Too through.  I didn't know what to say or do, but hold my head down as Charles and I went into the supermarket.  The expression on John's face was that of a dispappointed, hurt little boy.  LESSON #1 - NEVER DATE TWO MEN WHO LIVE IN THE SAME CITY.  The temperature that night had dropped, it felt, to about 60 degrees.  I was both shaking, and laughing to myself, at the same time.  Probably nerves. 

Each man claims me as their woman, although I have not been sexually intimate with either.  Originally, my plan was to introduce Charles to Johnny as my cousin, Charles agreed, but only to 1 time.  After that, I was to tell Johnny that Charles was my "man."   In the supermarket I looked for, but secretly was hoping I didn't run into Johnny - say down the baking isle.  Eventually, or shall I say, as fate would have it, Johnny and I ended up at the same cashier. I tried to make small talk, asking about the lua he attended earlier in the day, all the while hoping everything would go by quickly and I could just get the hell out of there.  Meanwhile, however, Charles forgot to get the toilet paper, so off he went.  Toilet paper?  Now Johnny knows for sure.  Who else, but a couple would shop for toilet paper - together - 9:00 p.m.  Now, I'm hyperventilating.  I quickly pay for the items the cashier has rang up.  Avoiding eye contact with Johnny, who, by the way, is still standing behind me.  I jetted the fuck out of the store to the car as fast as I could.  Leaving Charles to pay for the toilet paper.  To be continued.....  Cheers!!


  1. OHHHH Nooo..Micheeeele. How awful. What are you doing to yourself girl?

  2. Whoopsie.......I hate to say this but getting caught was inevitable. Maybe on some subconscious level you wanted to get caught? B/c if he saw you and Charles together, you wouldn't have to actually say the words to Johnnie. He'd see it for himself.

    word verif: reakies

  3. Oh geez, like JoJo has already said, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I'll be brutally honest with you because we're friends and you wouldn't want it any other way. I think Johnny had to have been under the impression after 14 years that a solid relationship and obvious future was there and he has accidentally had his world turned upside down. You also invested all that time into developing that relationship and you could've confronted him by talking to him one-on-one, letting him down gently...he deserved that much. Wasn't fair to Charles either. Now with Johnny you not only lost a suitor but most probably a friend too.

  4. Bev - First, my name is spelled with two LL's (Michelle). Now, in answer to your question - I haven't the foggest idea what I'm doing.

    JoJo - Yeah, getting caught probably was inevitable, but did it have to happen this quick. Subconscious or not, I'd still have to explain myself to Johnny.

    P. S. What's up with the word verif?

    Nantz - You are soooooo right about Johnny having the impression that we could build a solid foundation. I swear, it was not my intention to hurt Johnny. My heart sanked when I realized the hurt in his face. Confrontation is a shortcoming of mine that I have problems dealing with. And, true both men deserve more than that.

  5. Opps. Let me redo that.
    OH NO MicheeeeeeeeLLe!

  6. LOL, Bev, love all those EEEEEEEs with the double-L!

    Forgot what else I was going to say.

  7. P.J. Varsalona
    Clarity is obtained when you can separate your sleep dreams, your fears, your fantasies and your reality.
    I hope things will smooth out for you Michelle.

  8. Gee Val. I know you are up in age, but didn't think dementia would set in so soon. Maybe you should see a doctor? Better do it before ya forget, huh?

  9. please add some pics of vincent d'onofrio det robert goren n any from his movies minus the beautiful woman ty

  10. Anon why are you commenting on a post I send over a year ago? Why not comment on current postings?


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