know thyself, know others

**Note:  this post is in no way a disrespect or slight toward people who are grappling, struggling with the damaging effects of  serious mental health challenges such as, bi-polar, manic depression, borderline, schizophrenia, substance abuse or any major mental health issue.  if you suffer from any mental health problems, please seek professional help from a qualified therapist, social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist or the clergy.  

this is a pretty long post as far as any i have posted before, but bear with me.  i promise you will enjoy, and, perhaps, find yourselves.  i know i did (found myself). haha.

growing up as a young woman i used to be a really trusting and oftentimes real gullible.  i mean i used to be as green as a forest.  i would innocently or perhaps not so innocently, believe all the half-cocked crap people would tell me.  thinking they were just nice and wanted me to know stuff.  why, i thought, would people just out and out lie, mislead you, tell untruths about who they are, what they could do and did.  hindsight would suggest that it was, maybe, the manner in which i was raised - to trust, to believe. 

all that virtuous innocence changed when my brother told his poor, naive sister to, "wake up!  take what people say with a grain of salt."  i mostly started understanding people and myself a bit more after taking courses in sociology, political science and psychology.  and really began understanding them after reading two books - one titled sacred contracts by caroline myss, and the other titled emotional vampires by albert bernstein.  i have a totally different view and a kinda of healthy respect for people, now.  as far as i am concerned - EVERYONE IS SUSPECT!  

in sacred contracts, ms. myss proposes that people are born to live out contracts (assigned tasks and lessons learned dished out by life).  she states that we have made these agreements with life before taking on a human face - meaning before we were actually born.  she asserts that we fulfill these contracts through our relationships with others.  

ms. myss believes, as joseph campbell did - and others, that carl jung was spot on about humans embodying certain ARCHETYPES.  an archetype is a mythical persona, or personality type.  the most interesting point iv'e observed about this premise is that most people engage in life without an awareness that they're assuming these roles.  for example, i used to date a man who embodied the rescuer/knight/mother type.  but being a smart man himself, i think he might have known that he possessed these archetypes.  

archetypes include but are not limited to warrior, trickster, clown, monk/nun, mystic, hermit, vampire, princess/damsel, knight, hero, advocate, detective, addict, bully, student, seeker, teacher, guide, rebel, lover, thief, queen, beggar, gambler, judge, wizard/magician, king, servant, and rescuer - sorta like the images on a tarot deck.

caroline myss asserts that we each have our own unique - about twelve - set of roles/types that we adopt, but that we ALL, without exception, embody these four (4) basic ones.  and, like me, you may not like them or want to own up to them, but they nonetheless exist.  here are the four chief archetypes:  the child (orphan or abandoned, wounded, magical, nature or divine), the victim, the saboteur and the prostitute.  these, caroline myss says, are our "guardians that guide and protect us whenever we are in danger of some sort.  for instance, the prostitute might come out when we are in the process of making a deal in which we might be selling ourselves out.  or the victim might emerge when we feel someone is taking the advantage of us and we stand up to that person.  the saboteur will come out when we are in the process of behaving in a way that might be damaging to us.  interesting?  

the child is the guardian of innocence; the victim is the guardian of self-esteem; the saboteur is the guardian of choice and the prostitute is the guardian of faith.  all archetypes have there negative and positive sides.


in emotional vampires mr. beernstein emphasizes that there are people who have certain characteristics (emphasis on characteristics) or traits of personality disorders that emotionally drain you.  they are not really vampires but the way they behave drain you emotionally.  sapping all your vitality, energy and money, too, if you let them.  in his book, he teaches how you can effectively deal with these people.  emotional vampires can be your boss, friends, neighbors, mail carrier, doctor, even you own husband, brother, wife or child.  he calls them "children of the night."  

and heeeeeeeeeere they are: antisocial - they are witty, charming and high-risk takers who demand excitement - stay far, far, away from these types or you will be very sorry.  histrionic - these vampires require too much attention and approval.  always needing to be the center of attention - for your own sanity don't go near these folks.  narcissistic - these folk invented the song "mi, mi, mi, mi." - run as fast as you can away from these people or they will wear you down real quick.  obsessive compulsive - how much is too much?  these are the control freaks - they really overpower you.  and last but not least the paranoid  - seeing things that ain't there.  once they get it in their minds that you are not on their side - WATCH OUT!  these types question everything you do, they become very suspicious.  everything you do and everyone you talk to is suspect.  trust is a big issue with these people - head out the door fast. 

well, what do you think?  do know any people like those?  do you see yourself in any type?  

cheers!!