Thursday, September 1, 2011

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE: Light Bulb Jokes!!!!!

 How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?  What kind of insurance do you have?

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?  One, but only if the light bulb wants to change.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?  Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?  One, but it takes hime three visits.

How many real estate agents does it take to change a lilght bulb?  Ten, but we'll accept eight.

How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?  We don't know yet, we're still waiting for a part.

How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Only one, but it really gets screwed.

How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?  1.67.

How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?  What kind of answer did you have in mind?

How many skateboarders does it take to change a lilght bulb?  One, dude!

How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?  Who wants to know?

How many gay rights activists does it take to change a light bulb?  None.  The bulb shouldn't have to change for society to accept it. 

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Two, but they would probably prefer to have track lighting instead.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Three.  One to screw it in and two to write a song about it.

How many Yale students does it take to change a light bulb?  None, New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?  Two.  One to change it and one not to change it. 

How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?  Dont' worry about the changes.  We'll fake it!

How many cockroaches does it take to change a light bulb?  No one knows; they all scatter when the light comes on.

How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?  Ten.  One to change it and nine to say, "I could have done that."

How many dyslectics does it take to change a light bulb?  Two.  One to ladder the hold and the other to bulb in the screw.


5 comments:

  1. lol
    classic!




    Aloha from Waikiki;


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    ReplyDelete
  2. I kept thinking I had my favorite one and then the next one was even better

    thanks for the laughs

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cloudia - I know. I love jokes. Nasty, religious, ethnic - you name it. If we cannot laugh at ourselves, we are definately in pitiful straits. Cheers!!

    Dianne - I had more, but it would have been too time consuming to post them all. The gay man/track lighting one was the best for me. Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kim - Back attcha. Nice of you to stop by. I so enjoy your blog. Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete

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